It is New Years Eve and I just read a Facebook post reflecting on the year which got me thinking. I have to say 2015 probably wasn't my best year. We spent January and February and maybe some of March finishing the house and moving, which I did not call fun. I went to St. George and had a terrible race, had to find a new job because my old boss went to another school. I did put on a successful Bobca Triathlon to only have those fuckers and the institution of MSU take it away. I also got pregnant in May, so a lot of the year was spent with a lot of thought of this little creature growing inside of me.
Upon this reflection I need to make a more positive spin. (give me a break, I have been home sick for almost a week) In February we finished our beautiful house. I love my house! I suspect we will be here for a long time. I then got pregnant . It only took a couple of months and then bam, my life changed FOREVER. I have now been spending the last 8 months incubating a life inside of me and really that has been an experience that has been worth it. I was also able to gravel with amazing friends to triathlons, even if ,y races didn't go well or I didn't race at all. I got to spend some time at the beach with my Mom and another time on a nice trip with my husband. My new job is much better than the old one and although it keeps making uncomfortable, at the end of the day I feel rewarded.
I am excited for 2016 and what the year brings. Ivan will decide to join us in our beautiful new home here in the next few weeks. I am nervous and excited to meet him. We will never go back to our old way of life but I am pretty certain that the new way will be more fulfiling. I am excited to be able to go running outside. I want to do intervals on the bike and some good solid track workouts. Feel the gasping breath and blood in my mouth again. Oh, and to drink a full adult beverage will be nice. Maybe take a trip and get Ivan used to plane travel at a young age.
Here is to 2016. The best year yet.
12/31/2015
12/18/2015
32 weeks
I just read something on Facebook about not being afraid to follow your dreams because of the time it might take to accomplish them. Immediately I realized one of my dreams is to qualify and go to the Ironman World Championship in Kona. It sounds terrifying but I think I really want to do it.
I was trying to do some yoga on Wed. and the teacher of the you tube video had some really good thoughts that relate to how I am generally feeling. Some days I feel really pregnant, tired, have a lot of heartburn. Other days, I feel really energetic, get good sleep, and like my belly isn't quite that big. Yoga is the same. Some days feel good others don't. Just recognizing this now and accepting it is important. Realizing it is part of the process rather than being negative about it is important. I also have to realize that once Ivan gets here, life is going to be the same way. Unpredictable (for a while anyway) and some days, moments etc harder than others.
I was trying to do some yoga on Wed. and the teacher of the you tube video had some really good thoughts that relate to how I am generally feeling. Some days I feel really pregnant, tired, have a lot of heartburn. Other days, I feel really energetic, get good sleep, and like my belly isn't quite that big. Yoga is the same. Some days feel good others don't. Just recognizing this now and accepting it is important. Realizing it is part of the process rather than being negative about it is important. I also have to realize that once Ivan gets here, life is going to be the same way. Unpredictable (for a while anyway) and some days, moments etc harder than others.
11/26/2015
29.5 weeks and Thanksgiving
It is Thanksgiving and the perfect time to reflect on what I am thankful for.
1- So many great people in my life.
2- That at 29.5 weeks pregnant I can run a 5k with my baby and feel really good doing it.
3- A combination of the above. The fact there is a Thanksgiving day run and that this year like in the past couple of years I got to run it with my friends. Lawrence you are awesome and I got to run it pregnant. Ivan has done two 5ks already!
4- My amazing, smart, clever, and sweet husband who is about to be an even better father. I can't wait to love you even more Erik.
5- My beautiful, warm, comfortable house that my husband designed and my father built. They did such a good job I don't like to be anywhere else.
6- That I have a job that is rewarding and supplies us with great healthcare.
7- That I get to live in Bozeman and on days like today the sun comes out and warms the back of your legs just enough to say that I love Bozeman.
8- My Mister Man. Who is currently being tortured by the bob tail cat out the window. He is such a snuggle bug how can you not just love him.
Ivan you could be here in 6 weeks. I am getting excited to meet the little creature that keeps moving around inside me.
1- So many great people in my life.
2- That at 29.5 weeks pregnant I can run a 5k with my baby and feel really good doing it.
3- A combination of the above. The fact there is a Thanksgiving day run and that this year like in the past couple of years I got to run it with my friends. Lawrence you are awesome and I got to run it pregnant. Ivan has done two 5ks already!
4- My amazing, smart, clever, and sweet husband who is about to be an even better father. I can't wait to love you even more Erik.
5- My beautiful, warm, comfortable house that my husband designed and my father built. They did such a good job I don't like to be anywhere else.
6- That I have a job that is rewarding and supplies us with great healthcare.
7- That I get to live in Bozeman and on days like today the sun comes out and warms the back of your legs just enough to say that I love Bozeman.
8- My Mister Man. Who is currently being tortured by the bob tail cat out the window. He is such a snuggle bug how can you not just love him.
Ivan you could be here in 6 weeks. I am getting excited to meet the little creature that keeps moving around inside me.
11/19/2015
28 weeks, 3rd trimester, and my birthday
I was just thinking the other day that pregnancy in some ways is similar to Ironman training. The final day seems so far away for a while, then at a certain point you sort of start to get tired of it and are ready to be done, however, at the same time it seems so close and you still have so much to do to be prepared. Ivan, you are getting bigger and I can feel you a lot of the time. It makes me excited to meet you! But I still have to get so much done before you get here.
11/04/2015
25 weeks
It's time to write again. What has happened in the last three weeks and what are my thoughts for moving forward. I have bought more newborn clothes than I think Erik has clothes. I am a little concerned about my inability to see past the newborn stage. What am I going to do for clothes when he grows out of them in a month? The bedroom is a disaster and furniture needs to be sold and bought and blinds need to go in. I need to start checking some of this stuff off the list. Work needs to come together before I take leave. If it is not one thing that stresses me out, it is another. I have been trying to take the time to enjoy the moment more. Yoga, on the hydrobed at the chiropractor, or drinking a small cup of morning coffee. I keep trying to exercise and am motivated for triathlon again. Oh, yeah, I need to sell my bike.
Ivan- I dreamt that you were here and I was packing to take you on a trip. Sort of crazy dream with lots of way too big diapers. I then realized that I had lost you. I had lost you and had no idea where you went. It was hard to wake up because I wanted to find you first. The first thought I had when I got up (without finding you) was that I love you and that I will never lose you. I think that is the first time I have ever told you I love you.
Ivan- I dreamt that you were here and I was packing to take you on a trip. Sort of crazy dream with lots of way too big diapers. I then realized that I had lost you. I had lost you and had no idea where you went. It was hard to wake up because I wanted to find you first. The first thought I had when I got up (without finding you) was that I love you and that I will never lose you. I think that is the first time I have ever told you I love you.
26 weeks and thoughts on having it all
Ivan is getting bigger. I woke up the other night with his head above my belly button. When I tried to feel what all the pressure was about he moved away. I was sort of half asleep but that was probably the biggest connection I have had with him so far. I felt his little head in my belly!
This week I also discovered this things called diastasis. This is why you can't do everything and for a very good reason. I stopped trying to do plank and use my front core in yoga. You can make the muscles on your belly separate even more and wow, I think it might be hard to get that flat stomach back again. Currently, if I engage my front core my stomach tents. That is my guts being held in by my fascia. So gross.
I also read this very interesting article about women and men and ambition and success. To me it sounds like women have way too much expectation to do and handle it all while men are just more successful because they aren't expected to handle it all. They are just expected to be successful at their jobs. It sounds like although that sounds great and supportive when people say you can do it, they are also sort of setting us up for failure. I am not sure if it is possible to be successful in a job, balance a family, stay in sport etc. Something has to give and it sounds like women choose the job. I can say that although I value my job and I want to work (a little bit) and keep this thing in my life. I also don't want to lose out on time with my new son and I don't want to lose out on sport.
This week I also discovered this things called diastasis. This is why you can't do everything and for a very good reason. I stopped trying to do plank and use my front core in yoga. You can make the muscles on your belly separate even more and wow, I think it might be hard to get that flat stomach back again. Currently, if I engage my front core my stomach tents. That is my guts being held in by my fascia. So gross.
I also read this very interesting article about women and men and ambition and success. To me it sounds like women have way too much expectation to do and handle it all while men are just more successful because they aren't expected to handle it all. They are just expected to be successful at their jobs. It sounds like although that sounds great and supportive when people say you can do it, they are also sort of setting us up for failure. I am not sure if it is possible to be successful in a job, balance a family, stay in sport etc. Something has to give and it sounds like women choose the job. I can say that although I value my job and I want to work (a little bit) and keep this thing in my life. I also don't want to lose out on time with my new son and I don't want to lose out on sport.
10/09/2015
22 weeks with Crazy Ivan
I just read that I should write a letter to Ivan. It made me instantly decide to blog. I stopped during the first trimester in fe as r of somebody reading this and then something happening.
At 22 weeks I am really starting to feel pregnabt. My belly is big enough to get in my way and make it hard to get out of bed. I can feel Ivan kicking or moving around a lot. We had our ultrasounds and he is active.
Ivan seems to be the name. I am not 100% sold but it seems to be sticking. I want to think of a great middle name and Erik and I need to talk more about his last name. Zickovich? It makes my heart swell to know that Erik suggested it.
So, Ivan. Often when I think about you I think of what I hope for you as a core being of a person. I really hope you are calm. Calm and composed like your father. I hope you don't have a lot of anxiety in life and I hope I don't give that to you because of the anxiety I feel and have felt while incubating you. Ivan, I also hope for you to be strong. Strong physically and mentally. That you make a way in life that is defined by you and you do what makes you happy.
I flagged at a 5k running race today. Sorry Ivan. That cow bell was really loud. I was expecting some fast racers to come by but no, it never happened. I was sort of surprised how many people were walking and kids resting, getting carried, walking. Lots of kids and families. I think it is a good thing that they are all out there but again surprised by how tough 5k looked to some people.
I am telling you right now Ivan. You will not be getting carried. I hope you are that first kid through, running the whole race. I hope that your dad and I can be role models for you in our lifestyle, training, and racing and you believe in yourself to strong and fast.
At 22 weeks I am really starting to feel pregnabt. My belly is big enough to get in my way and make it hard to get out of bed. I can feel Ivan kicking or moving around a lot. We had our ultrasounds and he is active.
Ivan seems to be the name. I am not 100% sold but it seems to be sticking. I want to think of a great middle name and Erik and I need to talk more about his last name. Zickovich? It makes my heart swell to know that Erik suggested it.
So, Ivan. Often when I think about you I think of what I hope for you as a core being of a person. I really hope you are calm. Calm and composed like your father. I hope you don't have a lot of anxiety in life and I hope I don't give that to you because of the anxiety I feel and have felt while incubating you. Ivan, I also hope for you to be strong. Strong physically and mentally. That you make a way in life that is defined by you and you do what makes you happy.
I flagged at a 5k running race today. Sorry Ivan. That cow bell was really loud. I was expecting some fast racers to come by but no, it never happened. I was sort of surprised how many people were walking and kids resting, getting carried, walking. Lots of kids and families. I think it is a good thing that they are all out there but again surprised by how tough 5k looked to some people.
I am telling you right now Ivan. You will not be getting carried. I hope you are that first kid through, running the whole race. I hope that your dad and I can be role models for you in our lifestyle, training, and racing and you believe in yourself to strong and fast.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
